April 2012
March 2012
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on holy shit
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
3 tags
my mum: dinner time
literally less than 0.00001 seconds later
my mum: DID YOU HEAR ME COME HERE RIGHT NOW I SAID DINNER TIME WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY DID YOU IGNORE ME WHY ARE YOU SO ADDICTED TO THAT COMPUTER I'M GONNA TAKE IT OFF YOU
blackbruise:
i automatically assume everyone dislikes me unless every individual states otherwise which means you have to tell me yourself that you actually enjoy my presence in order for me to believe that you don’t dislike me how difficult is it to understand that
“Sleep now little buddy
Put your cares away
Nappy with a happy face
Tomorrow’s...”
– Elder Cunningham (via stalkingtheweb) 